Dear 婆婆

Dear 婆婆, it's still such a shock...  you left us on Monday morning...  I don't know what to make of it.  And in such a time when travel is almost impossible, we couldn't go and bid you farewell for the very last time.  It is so frustrating to be stuck here with no chance to say goodbye to you at all.  

I have to admit that I don't know you as well as my three other cousins.  My memories of you are limited to the times when we were in Palembang, your occasional visits to Pontianak & Pekanbaru.  There were a few times you would come to Surabaya too.  But.. those memories are sketchy at best.  But I clearly remember how much you doted on me, more than anyone else could in this world.

Despite your age, you never forget to be playful.  It was wonderful how you could still play with my children whenever we visited. 

Ever since 公公 left, you were never the same.  I still can't forget how on one visit during Chinese New Year you mentioned that  公公 was not around anymore.  Not only that broke my heart and reduced me to tears, I just didn't know what to say back.  

Over the years you grew really distant, whenever I visited, it seemed like your memories of me were fading away.  You just kept quiet whenever I came to see you.  I'm also saddened to see how you seemed to wither so fast without 公公 by your side.

The last time we met was earlier this year in Jakarta during Chinese New Year.  It never occurred to me that I will never see you again. 

This has been an extraordinarily terrible year.  Your departure only makes it worse.  And how I really hate that I couldn't be by your side at your last moments.  I will pray for you as soon as it is possible to go to Jakarta safely.  I will really miss you.  I wish you love always and I hope you no longer feel lonely now that you are together with 公公.

  Till we meet again one day.  

In memory of Tasmiati Thamrin, 陈玉鸞 (1928 - 2020), beloved wife, grandmother and great grandmother.