Dear 公公

Dear 公公, now that the dusts have somewhat settled, and I myself rather calm and collected, I thought I'll write something....

Kung2 & Pho2 in the 80s

Last Wednesday on 27/9 you left us at 8:45 a.m. I heard about it from my brother.  When he messaged me I was deep in thoughts while working in Bangkok.  The words "Kung2 meninggal" seemed like a cruel joke from my brother that I had to read it a few times just to make sure that I was reading it right.  After the reality had sunk in, my thoughts were a complete mess.  I know I had to go back soon to see you or at least send you off, but I was at a critical point at work too.  The best compromise I could think of was to leave on Thursday night and fly to Jakarta on early Friday.  For some reasons, you had to be cremated on Friday morning which was way too soon.

I have always known you as a survivor, you've had many major surgeries and always overcame them.  This time though, you really threw in the towel...  It is just so unlike you...

I still remember when Lincoln was born, you and Cuang2 were the first to visit.  Less than a year later you were holding Lincoln in your lap.

I really hope my children had made your day whenever they dropped by for a visit even when I couldn't come with them.

I had originally wanted to visit you when I transit in Jakarta next month, but it seems that you have other plans.  I'm very sorry that I hadn't seen you as often as I should have.  I haven't even shown you the Cartier Ceinture you passed me, I had it restored.  Just that I can't quite comfortably afford a full length Cartier gold chain yet which is why I'm still hesitant to show it to you; it still sports a leather strap.  I thought I could get the gold chain at the end of this year.... I really wanted to show it to you as you had remembered.   

Ever since your dementia set in, you always asked me 3 questions every time we met:

1. Do you know Ho Yun Lung?  He's my friend and he's gone now.

2. Is your wife's grandfather still OK? 

3. So you work in a Japanese company now?  Is your boss a Japanese?

While I always gave uneasy answers for the first 2 questions, I'd always been very happy to answer the third.  I know you're proud of me.  Even when you repeat the question a few moments later I'd always be very happy to answer that.  I know that you were a teacher and principal once, even Pho2 was a teacher for a while too.  And I really wonder how you'd react if you heard that part of my job scope is to conduct system training nowadays.  I really am the fruit that does not fall far from the tree..  😆

I still remember when you visited Surabaya you took me out on a mikrolet..  I can't really remember where we went, I only remembered the mikrolet ride.. it was fun... When you went to Pekanbaru you took me and my sister to a nearby park and took a photo of both of us, oh yes.. I still remember that. Here's a photo you took of us on that walk. 

I guess I must have gotten my photography bug from you too.  I still keep the camera you passed me in my dry cabinet...

Till now I haven't told anyone about your passing..  That's because I hate to be on the receiving end of other people's sympathies.  Nor do I like the attention or having to entertain especially when I know they say condolences out of obliged formalities...  But I need to pour my heart out because I had missed seeing you one last time...  your coffin was already closed when I arrived, that's the only regret I have.

I'm not one to make unverified claims so I won't say you're in a better place or such..  But until we meet again 公公, I will miss you verily..

This last photo in my entry is my fondest memory of you, not only because there are 4 generations of Thamrin in it but also because it is one of the few photos I have of you smiling.  I should have been in that photo too, unfortunately I'm the eye behind the camera.  And just look at how wonderful that photo turned out.

In memory of Konry Thamrin 钟炯光 (1924 - 2017), beloved husband, father, grandfather & great grandfather.